TRUST

i try to live my life in the present, but for this post, i need to explain a little about my past in order for there to be a better understanding of my thoughts on TRUST…

But first, please know that i also believe that everything happens for a reason.  i've grown with the good AND bad things that i have experienced and through my struggles, i am who i am today:  His kitten.

i met and married a man when i was in my twenties.  After 5 years of bliss, he got into an accident and found himself in the worst pain one could imagine.  The numerous doctors could not understand why.  All the scans and tests were done – all the medications were given – everything that we could possibly do was done, but for the next 5 years, he could not function properly, screaming and crying all the time, not being able to work…his mother and i watched him like a hawk in fear of him taking his life to end the life filled with pain.  Then one day, one doctor said, “Hmmm…his jaw is completely off…i want to send him to a dental neurosurgeon.  Long story-short, a mouthpiece was made for him and he was out of most of the pain and returned to work just 3 weeks later.  Even longer story-shorter…without much detail, he had an affair on me with a co-worker.  This was devastating, as i never EVER thought he would betray me like this.  Not after all we had been through.  But he did and was very sorry about it, so i decided to try and make our marriage work.  Counseling and constant communication helped, but he kept doing little things every year or so (300+ text messages to a number that belonged to a girl at work and other things that i was not OK with).  i remember what it felt like to have 100% TRUST in him and finally came to the conclusion that I would never get that back.

i asked for a divorce, so we separated and eventually got divorced.  i wondered if i would be able to find myself again and be able to TRUST again…

When i met SirW, i was not looking for a relationship…i wanted to have casual conversations, cyber-sex even, but nothing serious.  W/we simply clicked…matched...fit together like two intricate puzzle pieces  and W/we both felt it right from the start.  He too was not looking for a relationship, but somehow, the stars aligned and the forces of the universe brought U/us together.  It’s been a year now and i can honestly say that i TRUST Him with my life.  Trust was not given between U/us immediately – it was earned on both O/our parts.

  i feel His love and commitment & know He feels mine.  My words, thoughts and actions have Him in mind.  Where i go, i represent U/us, and He does the same for me.  It is more than mere respect: it is a vow W/we hold dear - a bond W/we have that is unbreakable.  This is how a beautiful relationship should be.  The fundamentals of BDSM:  Honesty, Respect, Trust & Obedience (that one’s mine-lol) are exactly what W/we have. If i were to fall backwards, i know He would catch me.

W/we been asked by various people on several occasions, “How can Y/you maintain such a great Long Distance Relationship (LDR)?”  The answer is simple:  It was meant to be.

With peace, joy and love in my heart,

kitten{SirW}