This is sort of a rant, so forgive me in advance...
My Mother loves telling everyone that my brother gave her 36 hours of labor and cried so often, that he was considered the family's 'cry-baby' and that her labor with me started and i was born about 30 minutes later, barely making it to the hospital and that after my first cry, it was all giggles from there, well mostly...
i have always felt a mission to brighten people's lives, make people smile and laugh when ever i have the chance. i have always felt there is so much darkness in the world that it was my lot in life to be the sunniest and warmest person on the planet. Also, i am very well aware of the Yin-Yang of things and that there are just as many negative people as there are positive people and i don't try to change people, but i do try to help the people that are negative, sad, depressed, etc. by finding the silver lining and encouraging as many people as possible on a daily basis.
That being said, from time to time, i run into people that just cannot stand my beacon of light...it makes there darkness (that they apparently enjoy and want company in their misery too) seem even darker. i have been told to 'tone it down' so many times and i find that really strange. I am told to keep my excitement for life and the things that are going on that i am happy about to myself. i enjoy sharing my joy with people, but have to respect those that are bothered by me...i suppose.
i am not here to be a thorn in any one's side, but it is very difficult to keep my light from shining...it's just who i am...i don't try to change anyone, so why do some people want me to change? It's just not fair and it does not feel good to keep my happiness bottled up. i mean, i know when it is appropriate to tone it down...when my Boss is in a bad mood, someone had a death in the family, you know...i know when to tone it down, but when things are normal every day, i just want to be myself. *sigh*
i am at the point at work where i keep all my happiness to myself and share nothing. People ask me about SirW or my vacation, i just give them a short non-happy answer. If i show any excitement, it gets turned on me...my Boss's wife will say she realizes how happy and excited i am about my boyfriend, but it's affecting my work, which is bullshit - i am a professional and multitask and do so much for my company, most of which i do not talk about as it would be bragging, i just get my job done.