Friday, November 18, 2011

Continuing BDSM Education

One of the many things SirW and i do to further O/our knowledge base on O/our journey as a D/s couple is 'continuing education'.  This is very important to those who want to constantly improve, find new ways of keeping things fresh and new the entire relationship (not just newbies).  W/we read books (both fiction and non-fiction), read blogs by other Doms and subs, attend and support BDSM functions in O/our communities and online (Fetlife, CollarME, etc.), as well as read real articles written by authors who are relating their personal experience, and also websites that are there to support those in this lifestyle.  Why not polish up on info, techniques and ideas relating to TTWD?

This morning, SirW sent me an excerpt from an essay referenced in an awesome BDSM Resource and Knowledge Database called The Iron Gate called Qualities of A Successful Dom (by Polly Peachum   that is spot-on!

Hopefully, Y/you the reader will benefit from this and other information i post here...that is why i do it after all *smiles*

Wishing Y/you A/all a happy and healthy holiday season,


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Dominant or Master?

Being relatively new still to this lifestyle, the different titles and what they mean, the responsibilities they carry for their partner and the community interests me.  There are many levels of intensity within each title and each person customizes their own relationship according to their likes, dislikes and needs.  When two people are considering being together, whether in this realm or plain old vanilla, they are either compatible or not.  Safe, sane and consensual is a good idea in any type of relationship, but particularly in this realm, because it is so easy for someone to be taken advantage of in trying to be good in their perspective chosen role.

SirW has been my Dom for nearly a year now and O/our journey has been amazing, with its growth and slow evolution into what it is now.  Not only have i grown as His submissive, but so too has He grown.  He is more than my Dom, so it got me thinking about Him being a Master in my eyes...

His peers in His community have learned much about His beliefs as a Dom, as well as His experience with various usage of "toys" for control of pleasure and pain, both physical and emotional.  He is too humble when it comes to titles, and frankly, I don't think He really cares, but i have been curious about what makes a Dom, a Master.  

So...the research has begun - i read an article ( Dominant-vs-Master ( ) and find the information interesting, but would like to hear what Y/you (Doms, Masters, subs, slaves) have to say about the subject, SO...what are Y/your thoughts?

Please comment about Y/your opinions, if Y/you would be so kind!

Wishing Y/you A/all well,


Monday, November 7, 2011


i am so excited!

First, SirW is surprising me for my (American) Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks...yes, you heard right, it's a surprise...He is not telling me when He is coming, just that He is and will arrive before Oour scheduled trip to Arizona with my mom (that drive should prove to be interesting). Why, you might ask? Because, those that live in the same city can show up at work, knock on the door, climb up the balcony, etc. Wwe have a LDR, so this is not a regular thing that can occur, so it is being created, and i for one am excited about it! 

Anyway, there will be tons of GOBBLE-GOBBLE going on *giggles*

Second, i am flying up to Him and His family for a WHITE CHRISTMAS *cheers* and will be staying for approximately 10 days-ish :)

This holiday season is going to be the best ever!!!


Saturday, November 5, 2011

sub's Needs (& other info)

i stumbled across this on 's site listed as 'OWNERS MANUAL' and thought it was wonderful and definitely worth a re-post for those who have never read it, so THANK YOU and the originator jade @ The Castlerealm (The D/s Resource Center):

Then, i went to this site and saw a bunch of other material worth reading, so i decided to post all those links too:

This material has a Copyright, so i am simply providing the link to their site - take a look, it's a wonderful site with a wealth of knowledge!