Sunday, December 15, 2013

my submissive Registration Certification

It had been on Master's mind for a while, now We have gone and done it :)

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Joy and Suffering

The energy that builds within us can be passed on to the people in our environment.  This is true for both positive and negative energy, so it is important to be cautious and find ways to release that negative energy, like wringing out a sponge with out venting it on to another person... 

Some days, i feel like there is so much joy within me that keeps multiplying and expanding and continues to build until it gets released in the form of sharing.   

This is why i write: to share the joy and suffering of myself and those within my environment.

I woke up this morning with a deep sense of joy rushing through my body. I was able to get some good sleep, woke up rested.  Nice morning with Master, then off to work He went.  i am so grateful that i have quiet moments, where i can sit and not make a sound, stair out the window and appreciate the gorgeous fluffy-white snow.  And as i write this, little snow flakes are falling in my peripheral.

I have my dark days too, just like every one else, but i am glad that they are far and few between my bright-shiny days!

May the warmth of the sun remind Us too slow down and enjoy all the things/signs that are presented along the path of our journey.

I will enjoy what there is to enjoy and suffer what there is to suffer, Master, as long as i can enjoy and suffer with You.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Take it Black

i’m gonna drink a cup of coffee.   

Normally i like a little coffee with my cream-n-sugar, but there are moments, when i’m out in the world, doing my thing, and i feel the need to connect with You, so i’m gonna drink a cup of coffee.  Hot Black coffee.  i’m gonna take it black because You like Yours black and it makes me think of You.  

This is me, drinking You in.  And let me tell ya Baby, it’s practically intoxicating.  i have to hold back a moan as the first sip trickles down my throat.  The warmth carries through my body and my nipples bud.  

So yes, when We’re out together, You’ll see me with a cup of fully loaded coffee, but when i am on my own, at times, I take it black.

You asked me this morning if i wanted some coffee.  i told You we were out of cream, so no thank You.

Then You left the house...

Guess what i am drinking as i write this note?


Thursday, November 7, 2013

My submission fix

You know what i am talking about if you are submissive...

Perhaps you get this feeling once in a while or perhaps you get it all the time, but when you get it: HOT DAMN is it good!  It's like being hooked on a drug...gotta get my submission fix!

To explain...

This morning seemed just like any other morning.  Woke up, got dressed, went to the washroom to place Master's morning accoutrements on the counter, went down stairs to make coffee.  Today, i brought a cup back up to Him as He did not get up yet.  It also gave me a chance to worship His body by easing Him up with tickles and scratches on His back.  Eventually, We both came downstairs, i made lunches for Him (and Our son).  He got dressed and prepared to leave (with son, who will get dropped off at school).  Then, at the front door, i get my kiss and on His way He goes...


This morning, i heard His Dom know, the one that sends chills up your spine (in a good way)?  He said, "kitten. today i want you to complete a couple of tasks for me."  My heart started to beat with excitement.  Ideas of how i would go about completing my tasks and the report delivery method i would use started to tickle my submissive funny bone!

Right after i send my Task Report to Him, i have an influx of air, like i need to catch my breath.  i get a flush on my cheeks and a smile in my eyes and...sorry to admit this, but my pussy is pulsating as well damn it!

It reminds me how much Our power exchange really fucking floats my boat!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Why am i so perverted???

SirW and i were asked to be guest speakers at the local monthly Mosh, the topic being "LDR'S: How to make them work" which will take place this evening.

In preparation for this, SirW and i have been going back to how things were when We were a LDR.  Reviewing old emails, pics, videos and more reminds me of how luck We truly are to have found each other and how precious Our journey has been...and still is.

From time to time, We have wondered if living Our D/s lifestyle has changed or become secondary since i moved to Canada to live my life with Him.  Sure there are times where life (job, children, etc.) gets in the way of play time, but today it hit home for me...

SirW said something this morning, to which i responded with my usual perverted answer and SirW stated that i was such a pervert.  \my response was, "It's not entirely all my fault!"  He responded with, "Oh Really?"  BUT, Our son came down the stairs and the conversation stopped, but it got me thinking...

Why am i always so perverted?  Why am i always thinking about being spanked, paddled, caned and so much more?  Why do i constantly envision my Master's body and all the things He does to me and me to Him?

I will tell You why...

And i will tell You why it is not entirely my fault too!

And at the same time, the answer to whether Our D/s interaction has changed since i moved here...

It's all because i am living His rules.  This morning, He handed me a copy of His rules as part of the preparation for this evening's event.  As i look at them, i understand how they have become a part of me and why i am the way i am every day.  Let's take a quick look at them again:

ONE: When i walk, sit or stand i will do so with such a great confidence that others around me will admire my performance. Either in public or private.
TWO: i am always in submission to my Dom, either in private or public.
THREE: Pain and pleasure shall be with me always: in my thoughts and fantasies.
FOUR: i will NOT hesitate in my Obedience to my Dom.
FIVE: i will NOT be passive in serving my Dom - i will Aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.
SIX: i will Serve, Worship, Obey, Please and Love my Dom Unconditionally.
SEVEN: i will Worship my Dom's Body from the Crown of His Head to the Soles of His Feet and Everything In between.
EIGHT: i will Always Give Thanks to my Dom for the Orgasms He has given me immediately after receiving them.
NINE: i will Tell my Dom when i Need to be Punished and Why.
TEN: i will Remove all Clothing in the way i have been taught when my Dom commands me to do so-regardless of who may be present and despite where i am - i trust my Dom.

All these rules have been ingrained within my life.  My words, thoughts and actions reflect a person who is made up of these rules.  Of course, there is more to me than these 10 rules now.  In the last 2 1/2 years, We have also established protocols and specifically requested routines that are designed to keep me focused on Our power exchange.

So, i am the way i am because i have not merely understood my rules, i am living my rules, living my vows every day.  

Now, the question of how often We play (top/bottom)...when We have the opportunity - when the kids are not home (Our oldest moved out, so it has become much easier with on child's schedule, who is 17 and working now) or at the club, if the opportunity presents itself.  We could be sitting on the couch watching TV and His hand may find its way to the base of my hair and no matter what We're watching, when He pulls my hair, i melt into a puddle as if We were back to the first time We met face to face in Las Vegas in March 2011.

Sometimes, taking a look back at the past not only allows people to realize how far They have come, but provides a new sense of appreciation of just how lucky We are to be living the life We are living right now.  

i always say, live every moment as though there was no tomorrow.  Say the things You want to say, be the change You want to be.  You are not the same person You were yesterday.  From this moment on, the old You is gone.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Yours, mind body and soul

i want to make slow passionate love with You...when time is not a factor and We can simply fold into each other slowly, like baking a cake from scratch, with care and joy.  Where no one exists but phones, no Internet, no television, no family or friends ...just Us, as if We were on a deserted island. 

i want Us to be able to stimulate every part of Our bodies, from head to toe and everything in between, taking Our sweet time with no goal in mind and with no end in sight.  i want to exhaust all the energy We have until nothing is left and We are drenched in sweat, hearts pumping hard and minds unfocused on anything but each moment of Our love and lust.

i want to laugh with You and see the lines in Your face and the huge smile You have when We are being silly together.  I want to walk along the shore and breathe fresh salty air and pig out on Our favorite food together.

i want to cry for feel pain administered by You and feel pleasure from the pain.  i want to feel the sting of each blow and tremble with the whispers that You give me with Your hot breath on my neck.  i want to melt with You and float into subspace as though on a cloud. 

i am Yours, mind body and soul and cherish all the memories We have made and am titillated by the thought of all the memories We have yet to create.

Thank You for today and all past days You've shared with me...each sunrise i wake with You is a day i will surrender and though the wind blows and clouds drift across the sky, i will always be Your little butterfly.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


Today, 2 Years ago, You claimed me as Your kitten.  A beautiful and meaningful ceremony, united with Our blood, began Our journey as Dominant and submissive.  It had been 6 months since We first met, so aside from being collared and owned, Our love as Man and woman had blossomed into an unexpected lifetime love affair.  No matter how much distance separated Us, nothing stood in the way of Our connection that kept deepening as time passed.  My life has given me a Love i couldn’t even have dreamed of…

Today, 1 year ago, You took me as Your wife.  Almost a year had passed since You collared me when the stars aligned and the path was cleared for me to join You in Canada.  Not much time passed before You proposed to me and soon after, A small but wonderful wedding sealed Us as Husband and wife.  You have taken care of me in every way and together, We have paved a road of abundant happiness.  Our life has given Us a love that has been blessed with all the right ingredients.

Today, I resubmit to You as Your devoted submissive.

Today, I renew my vow to You as Your loving wife.

Today, I thank the stars above for all the good and bad that have taken place in both Our lives that made it possible for Us to find each other. 

Happy Anniversaries, Master!

Your eternal love,


Friday, July 19, 2013


In my early 40’s, I began to look at life differently.  I started to look for quality versus quantity.  I took a good look at the balance of my life and found it to be off-balance.  I merely existed in a doomed marriage, afraid to see what life would be like on the other side, but inevitably I started dreaming of the day I would break free and stop existing and truly live. 

Finally, after years of emotional-self-torture, I asked my then-husband for a divorce.  He moved into the 3rd bedroom of the house I owned, along with his computer, which was in the room my computer was in.  That was the start of my feeling free to find myself again.  I came and went when I wanted, without a word to him or anyone (as did he).  I renewed my Buddhist practice and attended meetings where I participated and was engaged and present, communicated more with my family and friends, went to the movies, ate dinner at my favorite restaurants and started looking for an apartment.

I then began to separate everything into two categories: ‘Needs’ versus ‘Wants’ and tried my best to avoid wants and go straight to what I needed.

It took some time, but eventually I began to know myself.  Who was i?  What do I like?  What do I want out of life?  I had all but given up on having a long-term relationship and I was perfectly fine with that notion. I had my 2 dogs (Westies: Angelo: 13 & Sofia: 12) and I enjoyed being a ‘me’ after being a ‘we’ for so long (15 years).

Not long after all this took place, I met a Man that would change everything…SirW. I have told the story of how We met and how the greatest love story ever written does not compare to Our love, so I need not go into that, but let me say this…When it comes to ‘Need’ versus ‘Want’, He is in both categories.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Oooh, what He does to me

He melts my heart like butter in a hot pan
takes my breath away
moves me
fills me with an intensity that makes me want to scream for joy and sob that it took Us so long to find each other

i fall in love with Him again every day
i am more me with Him

my mouth yearns for His
my heart is His home

When i see Him, it's like the first time, every time

We are harmony that makes me close my eyes, smile softly and dance slow and seductively, knowing it's so good, sooo right

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


Growing up, i masturbated plenty.  i view it as a healthy release of pent up energy and still do it to this day (with permission, of course!).  Aside from that, i did not find myself a particularly horny person.  Sure, there were moments when i found people attractive, but it rarely lit up my horny button, so i figured i just wasn't a horny individual.  i certainly recognized the horny aura in others around me...some oozed it out their pores, but i didn't.  i kept that to myself mostly. 

Before SirW, i was married to a man that was a very good friend of mine.  i loved him, but it was the type of love i had for my grandpa (or my dog)...the non-sexual type, but like i said, i did not really possess horny feelings for others like i new some people did.  Eventually, the marriage failed and i was not that unhappy about it...i was sad that i was losing a good friend, but i felt that there should be more to a marriage than that.  From time to time, i heard that love is never enough and wondered what that meant until i felt it myself, but there it was.  That is not the reason my marriage failed, but i did justify the end with that a little.

ANYWAY, that is not what this post is about...

This post is about the here and now kitten...the one who is a horny motherfucker!

When i first laid eyes on SirW, i felt things that i did not feel in any other relationship.  i imagined extremely nasty scenarios about Him when i was alone in bed...the mere thought of Him made me as desperately horny as i had ever felt.  And the more we got to know each other, the hornier i got.  It was not long after We met that We began Our D/s relationship, so my former close-off self (dare i say prude-ish) became the most open i have ever been.  Something about Him allowed my layers to peel off...hell, they melted off with how hot He made me feel - all the time.  i just couldn't help myself and i realized that i understood what others with that horny aura felt.  And it was delicious!

Now, 2 1/2 years later, i am even hornier for Him than i was at the beginning and have to force myself to contain it.  We have 2 children and one just moved out to her first apartment, so that is partly why i contain it.  SirW's mom is visiting for a month, so i am containing it.  And i realize that when SirW comes home from work, He needs time to unwind, etc., so i contain it.  There are various reason to contain it, but let me tell you here and now, it is not easy!

He'll be sitting in the dining room on His computer with me in the living room and i will occasionally look over at Him and there it is:  my horny button - His kitten's pussy starts to pulsate and at times drip little pearls of goodness and my mind starts to think about all the nasty things We've done and want to do again right at that moment, but i contain it! *sighs*

All His kitten's openings are so delighted to be used at any time...i feel like an animal, but i contain it.  And i have never felt this way about anyone else - not movie stars or attractive bodies i see on kinky sites, etc.  i am so fucking hot for this Man, it is ridiculous!

Anyway, i was sitting here and thinking about the delicious ass-fucking i got last night and thought i would express my horniness because my mother-in-law is in the living room and i am sure she would hear the vibrator going if i went upstairs, so i am not going to call SirW and ask for permission to play/release...i AM CONTAINING IT! 

teehee :)

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

i started living...

i started living when i started loving You...

i am sitting here, 2am and can't sleep.  i felt a head cold coming on all day.  i totally went downhill this evening and We did go to bed, but i woke up a while ago, took some meds, made some tea, took a hot steam shower and just started thinking about my life. 

i pulled up Facebook and then it popped into my head...the quote from C. S. Lewis - one of my favorite quotes actually, "You see we are like blocks of stone out of which the sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of his chisel which hurt us so much with are what makes us perfect."  It's from Shadowlands, so i looked on Youtube to see if i could find a clip and i of the lines was, "i started living when i started loving You" and i totally identified with it, so i thought i would document it, so here it is:

i started living when i started loving You...

A love like Ours is rare and hard to adequately describe, but there are moments when one hears a quote that comes close to how they feel.  The above quote (taken from the movie "Shadowlands") is truly how i feel about SirW...i really started living when i started loving Him.  Before Him, i merely existed.  i thought i was happy, then i found happiness with Him.

Don't get me wrong, no one is responsible for my one can make another happy...happiness comes from within, but it is my time with Him that have been the happiest times of life.  i have lived an extraordinary life from the time i was born and it all lead me to Him, to Canada, to the life i am blessed to have at this moment.  i cherish it all.  i am fulfilled.

good night :)

Monday, May 27, 2013

9 !/2 Weeks

The night started off  with watching 9 1/2 Weeks, a movie i had not seen since the 80's and i don't remember it being THAT good - holy shite!  We stayed up later than We normally would to finish it and man, was i a frisky kitten from the beginning to the end of it, but typically when We get to bed as late as it was, We pretty much hit the sack and catch some zed's (remember, i am in Canada now)...

Up the stairs We climbed and into the washroom for my usual 'before-bed-bath' so i am always ready (just in case He decides to use His kitten), when He pops open the door and asks if i am going to take a bath...hmmm, i thought...He does not usually pop in and ask me this.  i said, "yes Master" and He said, "OK, because I am going to take a shower" and proceeded to close the door, when i said, "Oh, perhaps We could shower together?"  He agreed and came into the washroom, turned the water on, stripped naked (as did i) and got into the shower together...

In past showers together, We usually soap each other up and have sex in one way or another, but the mood was different this time...He told me to close my eyes, so i did.  We began to kiss feverishly - this turns Us both on so much - We really enjoy each other's mouths.  Then He took the soap and got the shower nozzle in His hands and began to toy with me a little.  He took His time as He washed my body playfully, getting me even further excited.  Eventually, i made my way to His hard cock and surrounding intimate areas with an animal-like fashion, i sucked, licked and used my hands to extract what i wanted: kitten's feeding, all with my eyes closed.  The sounds of His moaning turned me on even further...

When i succeeded with my intentions, i stood up, He grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and proceeded to brush my teeth - something He had never done before, but the mood, again was different.  This turned out to be quite fun and when We finished that, We kissed passionately again and by the time We were done with the shower, We were ready to continue Our sensual, sexual encounter in the bedroom.  To make a long story short, all His kitten's holes were used to perfection, multiple orgasms happened on both sides and We flopped down to drift off to sleep after looking deeply into each other's eyes in silence...words were not needed, for We knew words could not adequately describe the satisfaction of being so connected in every way, so We drifted off into a deep slumber :)

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The little things

My typical week day usually starts with me getting up, arranging SirW's shaving accoutrements on the washroom counter, making coffee and bringing a cup back to His nightstand.  i wait for the alarm to go off, then i gently caress (little tickles, scratches and massages) His back and neck for a few minutes until He wakes up.  Then We go downstairs and He catches up on His social networks, etc. as i prepare lunch for Him (and Our son).  Eventually, they both leave (for work and school) and i am left to be a homemaker.  i make sure the house is relatively clean and that dinner is prepared...the rest of the day is spent in leisure...sometimes i read, go to Facebook or Fetlife and look around, blog here or exercise (a walk or bike ride).  This is the way it is until my resident paperwork comes in and allows me to work.

Anyway, this blog is not really about all that - it's about this:

Some days, SirW will say, "lie back down kitten, We can take care of Ourselves rest."

This morning was one of those days, but it was so much more beautiful than just being able to sleep in...

The alarm went off and SirW rolled over and whispered to me that i could rest while He and Our son handled things themselves.  My body relaxed, but before i could drift off to sleep, i felt His fingers trace all the features of my face: my forehead, eyes, nose, cheekbones, chin, ears, neck.  i knew He was looking at me, even though my eyes were closed.  i cold feel Him cherish me and it made me feel phenomenal. 

So many people allow the daily routines to dictate not having time to cherish each other - always in a hurry to rush rush rush out the door to work, then hurry hurry hurry to eat dinner and go do do do...sometimes it's nice to slow down and take a minute to appreciate the beautiful things life has afforded Us.  From each other, to nature, to food and to Our friends.  It's the little things that seem to mean so much these days :)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

New Protocol

i recognize that i am lucky to have a Master who uses active Domination.  By active Domination, i mean that the exchange between Us is constantly moving/breathing.  i have come to realize that I will always be in training, learning and incorporating new things into Our relationship and love it.  The power exchange within Our relationship is so beautiful - it is exactly what works for Us.  i must say that I am totally amazed at how much energy and planning goes into making Our dynamic what it is.  Every relationship takes effort and i do my best to do my part as His submissive - seeing all that He does to keep things fresh and fun drives me to do everything possible to make His life as beautiful as He makes mine.

All the protocols that make up Our dynamics are so wonderful to me, no matter how long I have been doing them because they are important to Him.  i love the fact that We are always evolving though... 

Just the other day, He added a new protocol.  It is not a difficult one, but it makes me so happy to see the look in His eyes when i do it.  The new protocol is, when i bring Him something, it is offered with both hands.  Simple, but when He takes the item, He gives me a look of gratitude and pride...this look melts me!

~smiles sweetly~

Nothing major to report here, just that i am filled with so much appreciation for all He does (words, thoughts and actions) in order to take such great care of His kitten.

Friday, April 26, 2013

i woke up today...

i woke up today and the yearning began.  i could not wait to be in Your arms feel Your mouth on mine, Our tongues dancing with each other.  i spent the day longing for You as though We had just met and You were thousands of miles away, yet You were merely at work and i was just being silly.  But the desire would not cease spinning within me, images of You caressing me, stroking my hair, running Your hand along my curves, intoxication filling Us.

You called to say You were on Your way home and i felt a sense of relief pour over me, as though i wasn't sure life would return You to me.  i am not sure why these feelings have washed through me, but they have awakened in me, a woman who will cherish You for the rest of my days, each day, as though it were my last.  i love You.

Monday, April 22, 2013

The First Time...

Not sure why, but i had a daydream today of the time SirW told me He loved me...well, sort of told me anyway...

After skyping for 2 months, He visited His kitten.  In a previous post, i described Our first kiss, so i won't go into that again, but it was on Our last day...Sunday, April 3rd, 2011...

One of the hardest things We had to endure about being in a LDR was the day when He or i would leave to go back home.  The feeling of being left comes a couple of days prior to the actual day, but in order to make the most of every moment of being together, those feelings are best pushed way back in the brain, if possible.

The week We spent together was simply magical and We found ourselves on Our last day together.  i woke up emotional, like my heart was being ripped out of my body and squished.  i did not want to have His last memory of me a crying face, so i held back the tears as best as i could and just tried to be in the moment until He left...

Now, truth be told, i was head-over heals in love with SirW, but i did not want to scare Him by blurting out those 3 little words that say so least not the first one to say it...

There We were, stopped in front of the airport, removing His luggage from my trunk, knowing this was Our last moment together, lump in throat, holding back the tears, smiling as best i could.  i remember the day was beautiful and there were a ton of noises all around Us when We had Our last embrace goodbye...

After the hug, We kissed and then He started His walk towards the airport doors, when He turned around (by this time, tears were streaming down my face...i could not help it, though i tried - smile still on my mouth), He mouthed the words, "I love you" and then off He disappeared into the airport.

i, stunned, got into the car and started my drive home, weeping from the loss of my Sweetheart who took my heart with Him and drove home.  During the drive and the rest of the day, i wondered if i actually saw what i thought i saw...Him mouth the words, "I love you"

Later that night, He and i skyped, as usual, and the first question out of His mouth was, "Did you get what I mouthed to you as I walked into the airport?"  i said, "i think so, but just to be safe, could You repeat it for me now please?"  He giggled and said, "kitten, I am intoxicated by you - you have captured me completely...I love you"  i began to cry uncontrollably and when i apologized for being emotional, He told me that He loves every part of me, and that included all my emotions.  i told Him i had been in love with Him from the first night We chatted, but did not believe in love at first sight, so i did not think my feelings were real, but they were...

i have loved SirW, not just from the first day We chatted, but it feels like Our love has been a reunited love from a past life, or perhaps the deepest love of my soul in every lifetime i have had. 

Each sunrise i wake with Him, is another day of the deepest passion i have ever felt. my dreams, happily :)

Monday, April 15, 2013


From the very 1st moment We chatted, i felt so stimulated in many ways.  The conversation flowed like water with subjects from world events to nature and life in general.  When i hung up the phone after Our first conversation, i had a huge grin on my face and butterflies in my stomach at the thought of possibly talking to Him again.  And i did, the very next day, and the day after that and the day after that!  

Then We took to Skype and a whole new world opened up for Us...Our communication became much more than words...We could see and feel emotions, facial expressions, the twinkle in His eyes when he laughed and overall beauty in His features.  He was the most handsome Man i had ever laid eyes on.  His blue eyes: pierced right through to my core.  His jaw: so strong and square.  His muscles popped out from His shirts.  His tattoos danced with His movement.  Everything about this Man made my heart pound fast and my knees go weak and, if i am bring brutally honest, any communication (email, text, phone-call or Skype) made me wet with an uncontrollable desire. 

This went on for a couple of months until He came down to see me in person for the 1st time and, while i did not think it was even possible for my lust to grow, it did: tenfold.  These were new feelings...the feeling i got sometimes when i was star-struck at a gorgeous actor from the big screen.  This Man was just as beautiful on the inside as He was on the outside, which made Him all the more attractive and my heart go pitter-pat!  i was absolutely GAGA over Him.  We were definitely falling in love by this time.   The skyping continued and my feelings grew deeper and soon, being apart was starting to pull on my heart-strings.

The months have now turned into years.  Each day i wake with Him by my side, the feelings take hold of me again.  My alarm goes off and, while i am tired, i make my way out of bed.  When i glance over to Him, my heart flutters like the wings of a butterfly.  When We drive anywhere, i find myself looking over at His face, His eyes and practically drool at His sexiness.  This Man belongs to me?  OK OK...i belong to Him, but He loves me...His heart is mine and i thank the stars above every day for paving the path for Us to be together.  It feels as though We were rejoined...reunited from a past life, where We loved with all Our hearts then kindred...destiny...

Sometimes i wonder if He knows that my GAGA increases for Him every day...that i cannot wait to see Him when He's gone to work...that i love Him with every fiber of my being...i wonder if He knows...

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


i can be bratty at times...but generally speaking, i am not a brat just to be a brat.  i do not agree with doing something i am not suppose to have done (or forgetting to do something i am suppose to do) on purpose to get a punishment.  Truth be told, the disappointment i cause and feel myself when this happens crushes my heart, but this is the world of BDSM, so my Master makes the choice on how to correct me, let me off with a warning or even sometimes, knowing the disappointment may have done the correction job, turn it into a funishment :)  When i am faced with this, i am typically pretty nervous because i never know which way He will go.  This feeling keeps me on my toes and has me trying very hard not to find myself in this position often...

This morning, which was not different than any other morning, i was in the middle of making lunch for SirW and Our son, when it dawned on me that i had not laid out what i am suppose to lay out every morning for SirW: The can of shaving cream in the back center, with the electric shaver in front on the left, next to that the manual razor and to the right of that, His toothbrush.  This is a morning ritual i am suppose to do every morning (except on weekends).  The blood rushes from my face and i run upstairs in a panic to the washroom.  i quickly set it up and wander into the bedroom, where SirW is getting dressed for work.  i look at Him and He says, "Too late kitten - i am done in the washroom." 

My heart sank, but i am not allowed to pout, so i grunt a little in self-disgust and promptly ask for punishment for forgetting.  He said, "Yes kitten, you will be."  He does not dwell on things like this...He still treats me respectfully and is sweet to me until He leaves for work.  i go about my day as usual...i had some errands to run (dogs needed vaccine updates at the vet, grocery shopping, etc.) and eventually, i picked up SirW and We get home.  We eat dinner and relax in front of the b00b-tube and wait for one of my favorite shows to come on, when He says, "kitten, i am going to take a shower and you are going to service me."

Oh how i tried to not smile...i really tried, but i was excited at the thought of my Master all wet.  i noticed the look in His eyes that told me i better wipe the grin off my face or the punishment/correction will take a different turn, so i wipe it off immediately.

Without going into too much detail, i not only got to soap up my Master from head to toe, but i got to suck His cock and was allowed to feed from Him...i drank Him into me and loved every minute of it!

Please know that i am fully aware that this could have gone a completely different direction with me a very sad kitten, but this time, it turned out to be a sexy memory i will keep forever.

Thank You Sir!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Someone pinch me

Last night was movie night with the girls.  Not just any girls...the kinky girls, so i knew it was a night i could just be me without being careful about what pops out of my mouth.  i was so happy that i was invited in the first place and really looked forward to being there, bonding with my buddies, drinking exotic drinks, eating a beautiful table of goodies and laughing my ass off.  We saw 'Grease' and 'Dirty Dancing,' so each song that happened, we all knew the words and sang along - it was quite hysterical and highly enjoyable!

When i got home, around 2am, the house was quiet...there was one light on, but i knew SirW (and the dogs) were upstairs in the bedroom, most likely fast asleep...

i shut off the light and made my way upstairs...i was not exactly tired,  but i wanted to snuggle with my Baby in bed, so i got undressed and climbed into bed and saw Him stir, so i asked Him, "Master, is there anything i can do for You?"  He stretched, yawned and said, "Yeah, you can come and sit on my face." *grins big* My night was far from over!

Now i gotta say that Our relationship is obviously more than just sex, as well as just BDSM, but let me tell you, i went to sleep a very satisfied kitten.  And the thing i love about Our sex life is that i never know what to expect.  Some times, He takes me like a lion eating his meat and ravishes me.  Sometimes, i am nothing but a mouth, pussy and ass, holes to be thoroughly used for His pleasure.  Some times, it feels like He worships my body from head to toe.  No matter what the case, this kitten is made to purrrrrr!

i absolutely love the balance i have with all the aspects of my life...this is something that is very important to me.  SirW knows it and, as my Master, takes great care in nourishing it, to which i am so grateful.

There are moments of sheer joy when i look back and compare my life before SirW to now and feel like the luckiest woman alive to have such a beautifully balanced life...someone pinch me!

Friday, March 8, 2013

i got the music in me!

Ever since i was a young girl, i knew i was meant for the stage.  i have always been a ham and love to be goofy and laugh at myself, but more than that, i loved to entertain with my voice.  When i was 12, i began to study opera.  When i was 13, i began to perform in various operetta's and musicals and fell in love with the feeling that singing gave me.  i could be sick, depressed, angry, etc. and when i sang, it all melted away - it was therapeutic...medicinal...and still is...

After singing in a few different chorus' i belonged to, i joined an original rock-n-roll band and went on tour in my 20's as a back-up singer.  We individually sold everything we owned, drove across country from California, where i was born and raised to Atlanta, Georgia.  i loved this experience and have no regrets.

That was a life time ago and the music still lives in me.  When i got to Canada, i joined the band SirW was playing with.  We learned some cover tunes and had loads of fun performing them here and there.  All but one person in the band is in the BDSM lifestyle, so i can be myself most of the time *wink*

Then i got the writing bug, which i had not had since i was a teenager.  i began to take some of the stories i had blogged about here in my blog and turn them into songs.  i just completed the 15th song and am so proud of these creations.  In between each song, as the front man, i get to talk about how the songs came to be and my relationship with SirW, so it's really exciting for me.  The audience has a chance to hear my journey and feel like they have gone on part of the ride with me. 

i decided to call this phase of our music, the LDR tour :) i guess i can officially say:  i am a Singer/Songwriter (man, that feels good!)

i just wanted to share this part of my journey with you, as it has become a big part of my life at the moment.


Monday, February 18, 2013


Four days of Bliss...

The house is quiet now and i am left with my thoughts. 

Thoughts of the last 4 days are running wild through my mind.  i was so thoroughly used in so many ways, i probably should be exhausted, but instead, i want more. 

To have such delicious pleasure and pain....Mmmmmm!  Loved being tied up and helpless as You fucked Your little ass-whore :)  i seriously should be exhausted, but i just want more!

i smile when i think of all the ways you took Your kitten, all the times We both exploded...all the things We did to each other...i really should be exhausted...but i just want more!

Never in my life have i felt like such an an addict almost...i never felt such lust, such a longing and yearning for anyone or anything...i really should be exhausted...but...i....uggghhh!

i miss You Master!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The Scent of a Man

Not just any Man...

Today, as i cleaned up Our bedroom, i lifted SirW's shirts to my nose to see if they needed to be washed, and as i breathed Him in, i became intoxicated and aroused and was reminded of a day not long ago...

SirW came to visit me on Our 6 month anniversary - it was time for Him to collar His kitten.  The ceremony was unbelievable, like a dream and when it was finished, i felt so amazing and proud to be His in such a completely.

But, as with all the visits He or i made to each other, We knew the time would draw near for Him to go back home, and with Him went my Canada.  And i remained, in the hot desert sun and lived my life without His touch, His scent.

When He left, my apartment felt so empty, my bed so big, my heart left to yearn for His return.  When We next spoke, i told Him i missed Him and asked Him to send me some of His shirts, so when i felt my loneliness creep in, i could reach for His shirt and breathe Him into me and pretend He was standing right next to me.

And on those days and nights, i felt comforted to have His scent within an arms reach and, while sometimes it made me cry for Him to be near, it calmed me...every time.

Today, as i breathed in the scent of Him from His shirt, i smiled, for i could look back and see that my dreams have been realized...i am His, i am.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Nearly 2 years ago...

It all started nearly two years ago (January 27th)...

...i was living in the desert headed for a divorce after a 19 year relationship/marriage.  i was separated and NOT looking for a relationship whatsoever and i knew absolutely nothing about BDSM...i was a white-picket-fence girl and felt happy to be on my own with a chance to understand who i was in my 40's after getting married in my 20's and being a "we" for so long.  i began to live in the moment and not think about the future of my love life...if i found someone, fine...if not, i was fine with that too.

Then one day, i posted a picture of a hot young blond on Facebook, asking my friends if they thought her hairstyle would be good for me.  i got plenty of positive responses, along with a "like" from someone i did not know.  As it turned out, the friend we had in common was someone i played World of Warcraft with for quite some time, a sweet gal and her husband who had a baby and lived in Canada, so i took a look at the person who clicked the "like" button and saw a very attractive man.
i debated for a while, but decided to message this Canadian guy to tell him that he clicked on a picture of a hot young blond and that it was not me and that i could be her mother (very sassy, i was).  He responded by stating he knew it was not me and admitted that he looked at my photos and found me to be quite attractive as well.  Well!  i wasn't sure what to say to that ~giggles~ but we sent messages back and forth for hours and i really liked the fact that it was an intelligent adult conversation that had little to nothing to do with sex.  It was refreshing actually.

The next day, i contacted the friend we had in common to let her know i was chatting with her friend, but she cut me off to tell me he had already contacted her to say the same thing - funny and exciting i thought.

Long story short:

We skyped every night for hours and by the end of the 1st week, we had talked about BDSM.  He had me research more about being submissive to see if i felt a connection with the description and it was odd, but i really did.  By the end of the 2nd week, i had a set of rules he established for me and filled out a BDSM checklist and was already receiving training (via skype) on how to rope myself, torture my nipples and so much was strangely exhilarating!

We skyped every night for hours...talking, laughing, reading books, playing scrabble, cooking dinners in the kitchen and sitting down to candle light dinners, sometimes with his kids, but mostly just us.  During the day, we would text and email each other - he was a very active Dom and gave me daily assignments and tasks to be completed and it kept me extremely focused on my submission.
After 2 months of this, He came to visit me and my heart skipped a beat.  He was already one of the most handsome Men i had ever seen, but in person, HOLY SHYTE, He was drop dead almost made me uncomfortable ~smiles~

He or i visited each other here or there, which happened every 2 to 4 months and again, skyped every night for hours. 

He collared me on Our 6 months anniversary.

We married one year later (on Our actual collaring day: July 24th), just after i moved to Canada where i live with Him (and His 2 children) now.

i have more friends than i have ever had in my whole life.  The distance i have with my family has made them appreciate me (and i them) much more than before, now that we cannot pop over for a visit, but i like the new-found attitude we have for each other.  My old friends and old co-workers keep in touch via Facebook and phone calls and skype.  The BDSM community has made me feel so welcome and included that my heart is touched - Our social calendar is so full, it's ridiculous.

The Man of my dreams...the one with all the things you never thought you could have in one person, pales in comparison to SirW.  He and i have the most amazing relationship - it's as though We were together in many previous lifetimes and found each other again.

Did i leave my family, friends, job, apartment, sell my car and belongings to start a new life with Him as His wife and submissive?  Yes.  Do i have any regrets?  No.  Am i the happiest i have ever been?  Without a doubt. 

i thought i was happy...then i found Him and true joy has been spilling out of my pores ever since.

Can a LDR relationship work?  For me it absolutely did.