Monday, September 9, 2013

Why am i so perverted???

SirW and i were asked to be guest speakers at the local monthly Mosh, the topic being "LDR'S: How to make them work" which will take place this evening.

In preparation for this, SirW and i have been going back to how things were when We were a LDR.  Reviewing old emails, pics, videos and more reminds me of how luck We truly are to have found each other and how precious Our journey has been...and still is.

From time to time, We have wondered if living Our D/s lifestyle has changed or become secondary since i moved to Canada to live my life with Him.  Sure there are times where life (job, children, etc.) gets in the way of play time, but today it hit home for me...

SirW said something this morning, to which i responded with my usual perverted answer and SirW stated that i was such a pervert.  \my response was, "It's not entirely all my fault!"  He responded with, "Oh Really?"  BUT, Our son came down the stairs and the conversation stopped, but it got me thinking...

Why am i always so perverted?  Why am i always thinking about being spanked, paddled, caned and so much more?  Why do i constantly envision my Master's body and all the things He does to me and me to Him?

I will tell You why...

And i will tell You why it is not entirely my fault too!

And at the same time, the answer to whether Our D/s interaction has changed since i moved here...

It's all because i am living His rules.  This morning, He handed me a copy of His rules as part of the preparation for this evening's event.  As i look at them, i understand how they have become a part of me and why i am the way i am every day.  Let's take a quick look at them again:

ONE: When i walk, sit or stand i will do so with such a great confidence that others around me will admire my performance. Either in public or private.
TWO: i am always in submission to my Dom, either in private or public.
THREE: Pain and pleasure shall be with me always: in my thoughts and fantasies.
FOUR: i will NOT hesitate in my Obedience to my Dom.
FIVE: i will NOT be passive in serving my Dom - i will Aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.
SIX: i will Serve, Worship, Obey, Please and Love my Dom Unconditionally.
SEVEN: i will Worship my Dom's Body from the Crown of His Head to the Soles of His Feet and Everything In between.
EIGHT: i will Always Give Thanks to my Dom for the Orgasms He has given me immediately after receiving them.
NINE: i will Tell my Dom when i Need to be Punished and Why.
TEN: i will Remove all Clothing in the way i have been taught when my Dom commands me to do so-regardless of who may be present and despite where i am - i trust my Dom.

All these rules have been ingrained within my life.  My words, thoughts and actions reflect a person who is made up of these rules.  Of course, there is more to me than these 10 rules now.  In the last 2 1/2 years, We have also established protocols and specifically requested routines that are designed to keep me focused on Our power exchange.

So, i am the way i am because i have not merely understood my rules, i am living my rules, living my vows every day.  

Now, the question of how often We play (top/bottom)...when We have the opportunity - when the kids are not home (Our oldest moved out, so it has become much easier with on child's schedule, who is 17 and working now) or at the club, if the opportunity presents itself.  We could be sitting on the couch watching TV and His hand may find its way to the base of my hair and no matter what We're watching, when He pulls my hair, i melt into a puddle as if We were back to the first time We met face to face in Las Vegas in March 2011.

Sometimes, taking a look back at the past not only allows people to realize how far They have come, but provides a new sense of appreciation of just how lucky We are to be living the life We are living right now.  

i always say, live every moment as though there was no tomorrow.  Say the things You want to say, be the change You want to be.  You are not the same person You were yesterday.  From this moment on, the old You is gone.