Friday, March 30, 2012

kitten's Fantasy!

Before i tell Y/you about kitten's fantasy, i must state for the record that i have had lovers prior to fact, i was married previously for over 15 years and throughout my sexual history, i have used fantasy to increase my pleasure when having sex and/or masturbating with myself and see absolutely nothing wrong with it - i encourage it and think it is a healthy thing to do.  There are fantasies that O/one might wish could come true and others that should remain a fantasy in order for it to be useful in the mind.

In all my previous sexual relationships, my fantasies have been about situations that i may or may not actually do in real life, thus what makes them fantasies for me.  They have been sometimes romantic, but usually extremely nasty and whore-ish *giggles*

I also must state for the record that i love SirW inside and out and when i strip away all the amazing non-materialistic qualities he possesses, i am left in awe of how truly amazing He is and how much i truly love the core of Him...His heart, His mind...all the things that really matter..

B U T...

This post is one in which i can honestly say, from the depths of my being, that SirW is in all my deepest, darkest fantasies.  Putting all the goodness He has inside aside, i must admit that i have never EVER been so attracted to any individual in my entire life as i am to Him.  i find Him to be the sexiest Man on the planet...i drool when i think of His body...His hard abs *bites lip* His muscular thighs *starts to get wet* His ass (holy fucking shit!)...His jaw (so square)...His arms with budging muscles...i know i have not mentioned His cock, but let me tell You...i have never EVER cum this much in my entire life time and We have an LDR for God's sake!  He just has the most amazing body and knows how to use it!

Now when i have serious issues i have to deal with, i am not the horniest kitten, i admit that, but most of the time, He has me in a constant state of arousal, which leaves me feeling like a sexual being most all the time...and i love it, i fucking love it!  i spent most of my life feeling the opposite of this, so this has been an incredible 14 months and i look forward to the rest of my days with my Master!

OK, that's all i am going to say about this topic and i know he will hate this post if He sees it, but i just had to vent this out as i sit here with wet panties at the thought of Him.

i don't think of my life prior to SirW, for i know it was what got me to Him, but WOW, i never knew the animal in me was waiting to pounce until i met SirW! *giggles*



Thursday, March 29, 2012


The anticipation of SirW and i being together in one week is such sweet torture...thoughts of His hand wrapped in my hair, pulling my head back, controlling the force in which Oour lips collide into each other.  This alone will have me wet and i am not aloud to wear panties when i pick Him up at the airport, so he will smell my arousal immediately.  It's been a long 4 months, but the love Wwe share, the bond and connection that binds Uus is extraordinary.  We are...Oone.  i am so fucking anxious for this week to go by, but i need to maintain calm, cool and collected, for the days will pass and the time will come where Wwe are once again in each other's arms, as it should be (He will be meeting my Father for the first time).  It will be an amazing 10 days!  Then He'll go back to Canada and i will remain here, in the desert until June, when i will fly to Canada to see Him for 10 days (and i will meet His Mother for the first time)...then, in August, the BIG MOVE happens and off to Canada i go to permanently be with Him and a new chapter in Oour lives begins.  Wwe are so truly blessed to have found this deep love that goes from me to Him and to me from Him.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


When i see these:
And when i see these:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:

And when i see this:


Eight Days Peeps, EIGHT DAYS!!!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

NINE DAYS!!!!!!!!!



OMG, He'll be here in 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 26, 2012


First of all:Days until SirW and i are together!

May i have Y/your attention please:  kitten has earned 113 swats from her Master's paddle to be administered when, where and by whom Master sees fit! 

We are starting off Our time together with a Road Trip to California, where He will meet my Brother, Niece and one of my Best Friends, as well as get to see where i, a Valley Girl (like, Om-Mee-Gawd, fer sure fer sure!), was raised.  i am sooo looking forward to the 5 hour drive up and 5 hour drive back, for it means time completely alone with my One and Only Love...time spent on a road trip is so appreciated by me because it is time where We may be silent together.  Y/you see...most of the time We spend together has been on skype and on skype, typically, We do not sit and not talk...We talk, We train, We play Scrabble, We eat dinner together...We do a ton of things, but it usually involves talking. 

Please don't misunderstand me when i talk about talking - i am happy about Our communication, but there are moments in a relationship where Y/you just sit and relax, cuddle, take a walk, watch a sunrise/sunset, read a book, cook...these things involve being together, but without words and is important to me.  To just delicious!

And, of course, it's been 4 months since i have felt Him pull His/my hair, force me to His/my knees and feed His kitten.  Take me over His knee and spank me, paddle me, finger me, TAKE me in every/any way he wants/needs.  Tie me up and flog me, gag me, whip me, make me whimper...then soothe me, taking me up and down with sensation play - not too much pain (We are not into too much pain).

i look forward to going to dinner, watching a movie, playing with the dogs, laughing, kissing, loving...all of it.

The visit draws near, the countdown has begun...and with every beat of my heart, i await my Beloved Master.


Thursday, March 22, 2012


The countdown has begun!  Today marks 14 days until i am in SirW's arms...then, of course, i will be on my knees, ready to received kitten's feeding - Yeah!  It will have been 4 months since We were last together in Canada, so i am very much looking forward to His arrival.  Whom ever said, Distance makes the heart grow fonder: You Asshole...You are right!  ♥ giggles ♥ Just when i think i am feeling the deepest in love i have ever felt, i fall in love with Him all over again! This seems to happen with each new sunrise ♥

FOURTEEN DAYS PEOPLE, FOURTEEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Guess how many exclamations...14!)

Have i mentioned how excited i am to see Him in 14 days?????????????? (Did Y/you count the question marks?  There's 14 of'em!)

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Y/you got it, 14!)

P.S......He'll be meeting my Father for the first time ♥ grins wickedly ♥

♥smiles big, with teeth showing and everything♥


Tuesday, March 20, 2012


i know SirW’s not Super-Human, but it sure feels like it!
The thing is, no matter what is going on in my life, i never feel alone in it.  He is not here to solve my problems – that is not healthy in my opinion.  But He is ALWAYS here for me.  There are moments that i am hard on myself and emotional and when i try to apologize to Him for it, he tells me he loves every part of me, including my emotional side.  He listens to me…really listens and if i am being unreasonable, He will put me in my place, which i also count on and love about Him.  Day or night, if i need Him, He is a text or call away and that soothes me.  Though i can take care of myself, as far as my day to day living and making ends meet, my family, work, friends, religion, etc.,  He takes care of me, not my things: me.
Never before have i felt such an amazing sense of unity with Another.  We are two in body, but one in heart and it makes for a happy kitten!   
Counting down until His visit in April:::   Meow!

Monday, March 19, 2012

kitten makes videos!

Last year, prior to SirW's visit(s), i made some videos in anticipation of His arrival

Sometimes i enjoy a good LIPSYNC

Sometimes, i am just plain SILLY



To submit or not? (thanks sbf!)

My friend sbf wrote a post To submit or not to submit, that is the question today and i found it to be significant and important to post my thoughts on it in my own post, for there are so many submissive people out there with ideas of what it means to be in a D/s relationship.  First of all, any relationship is designed / customized by the two of Y/you - there does not have to be a set way things needs to be in order for it to be categorized as D/s - it's your relationship, fuck every one else!

i am one that met her Dom on line, but not because i was looking for a Dom, as i had no idea about the D/s world or that i was submissive for that matter (lol).

i am lucky in that there were steps taken prior to establishing Our D/s relationship...a check list of likes and dislikes (limits, etc.) that made it possible for Us to see if We were even compatible - even vanilla peeps should do a check list of was so helpful and allowed Him to know what i was about, as well as my knowing myself a little more too *wink*

One main point to D/s i have learned is that submission is not forced, it is freely given by the submissive, so the instinct to wait until it feels right is the right thing to do.  Skyping every day, my trust in Him came sooner rather than later, but i know i am lucky in that i found a Partner who is not perfect, but perfect for me in every way imaginable.

And, i must MUST mention that i am of the opinion that Domination and submission should be about the Dom taking care of His sub - it is a serious thing to take responsibility for another human being in this way, but that is what it should be about...of course, in return, the submissive gives everything to her Dom - this does not mean giving things that are a 'NO' on the checklist (hard limits).

In time, the submissive may feel like she wants to revisit some things she placed as a hard limit, but that should be her decision.  Being submissive does not take rights and decisions away from her and it does not mean she is topping from the bottom either.  Most Dom's want a submissive who has and uses her brain, has opinions and if they disagree with something, they should be able to voice it...this doesn't mean they will get their way, but the great communication is key to ANY relationship, D/s or otherwise!

i really need to thank sbf for all her posts - she brings about awareness and writes from her heart.  She is not one to settle for the wrong Dom and knows herself very well and what she wants, so i know when she finds her Dom, it is going to be extraordinary.


Friday, March 16, 2012

Another Day Dream dreams of the a time when SirW and i are together...
Today’s bath was filled with hot lavender and vanilla bubbles.  i scrub my skin from head to toe, fingering His pussy and ass to make sure it is squeaky clean and ready for use.  Then i soak, allowing the scent to sink into my skin.  The glass of wine i sat nearby is sipped and the candles are illuminating the ceiling with dancing flames and i smile thinking about the feeding kitten will receive when Master walks through the door, the things Master will do to me in Our dungeon, the romance We will share at dinner, the love We will make later, His warm body sleeping next to mine, His scent that makes me feel intoxicated.
After the bath, i blow dry my hair, apply make-up, put the rouge on His nipples and pussy lips and make sure all my preparations have been accomplished.  A review of the house to make sure it is clean, candles are lit, flowers in vases, fragrance is permeating about, music softly playing, wine uncorked and glasses nearby, dinner cooking in the kitchen, pussy wet with anticipation of my Master’s return home.
The sound of the car pulling into the drive way makes its way to my ears, so I run with excitement to the front door naked and kneel: knees as far apart as possible, back straight, chin up (proud to be His), palms face up on knees, big smile on my lips and a light in my eyes…my Master will be walking through that door any moment, and with Him comes everything I need: love, Domination, fun, passion and more.  My heart beats louder and louder as the footsteps near the front door.
The door opens and in walks the love of my life, SirW, with a smile on His face and He says, thank you kitten, for all you do…i look up at Him and open my mouth for what i've been craving all day...
...this life is on the horizon, Our journey has lead Us here, now it's time to embrace it...well, soon enough anyway...


When SirW and i first began, i noticed subtle differences between He and myself, as He is Canadian and i am American.  And, aside from being American, i was raised in the San Fernando Valley, which makes me a "Valley Girl" - like Oh mee Gawd, totally, fur-sure! *smiles* I grew up hearing my share of, "Like gag me with a spoon" and it made me giggle.  In fact, the frequency in which some used the word "like" was alarming to me, but i felt it was a phase.  There were many things said that were the newest trend and it continues to today.  i remember when the word dope meant cool, bad meant good, etc.  i also have some things i say that have a different meaning...

Sometime, during Our first couple of weeks, Master said something that prompted me to say, "Shut Up!"  And the next thing i knew, Master told me to stand up, clasp my hands behind my neck and face the wall.  He proceeded to tell me that i had forgotten my place and i was not to disrespect Him with words like these.  While in this position, i giggled inside, for i meant no disrespect whatsoever, but i was not permitted to speak my explanation until after He released me from that position.

No Way!  Get Out!  You're Not Serious! Whoa Stop!  Are You Freakin' Kidding Me?  Come On, Really?

All those mentioned in the last sentence are what was meant by my saying, Shut Up! i explained to Master, and even though He understood and was relieved to know i did not actually mean to tell Him to shut up, He asked that i not say that to Him in any context, as it will be considered a form of disrespect in the D/s protocol realm.  i, of course, said, "Yes Sir" and smiled.  We joke about it now, but i still never say it directly to Him...and sometimes, in jest, when We are alone, He'll say it to me and We both giggle at the memory of Our 1st weeks together.


The day after the incident, the bratty kitten i am posted this song on His Facebook *grins evilly*


Monday, March 12, 2012

Winter Never Fails to Turn Into Spring

Ahhh...Spring.  Spring has a deep meaning for me personally.   It not only means that Winter has ended, as guaranteed each year, but it is a symbol that life is ever changing, along with our circumstances.  Winter represents the problems we face...the situations we want to change...the life which some wish to escape due to it being so unbearable.  The mere fact that Winter never fails to turn into Spring is comforting, for it means that no matter how difficult our present is, it will eventually change, just as Winter never fails to turn into Spring.  This thinking has been with me my whole life and allows me to fight through any obstacles, ever emerging the victor in my life.  It gives me eternal hope for the future.  It fills each day with the possibility that it could be the day that turns my dreams into reality.  The possibility that this could be one of the best days ever had, if we just don't prejudge it.

Every new dawn, i awaken to being one day closer to my destiny with SirW.  We both feel the pull, like magnets.  We belong together, plain and simple.  At the beginning of the year, We talked about Our future and decided that We needed to be together...We expressed our desire to live the rest of Our days together.  To grow old and grey together.  We have both never known a love like this and feel truly blessed.  

And so the days pass...March leads to April, when SirW will visit.  i am sooo excited to be in His arms, breathe His scent, feel His hands on me, make love to Him, submit to Him, feel the falls of His flogger, take the sting of His paddle, walk with Him, laugh with Him...and just be.

For those going through hard times right now, please know that Winter never fails to turn into Spring...keep hope alive that the Sun will shine again for Y/you...your flower will bloom, your wings will spread...and you will fly.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Purrrfect Date!

Eyes, covered by a soft blindfold, rest with anticipation of what’s to follow.  The crack of the first whip, knowledge of a nice pink welt on His ass feels oh so good as the heat begins to radiate the area that waits for the 2nd crack of the whip, which comes harder than the first, leaving another mark of pride on His ass.  Then another crack lands, and then another and soon wetness forms on the inside of the blindfold and a whimper lets Him know the pain and pleasure is building within me…
A brief pause to recover, He leans down and asks me how i am doing, to which i reply simply, “Green Sir.”
Twas not long before the falls of the flogger started to caress His backside.  With each flogging, His ass rises to meet the next.  The pace increases, perhaps due to a dual flogging, which makes the chills greet my skin from head to toe.  My mind slowly wanders away from my body, as though i can see what is happening from above like a spectator.  Time stands still as His body jiggles with each slap of the floggers and a smile forms on His kitten’s lips.
A brief pause to recover, He leans down and asks me how i am doing, to which i reply simply, “Green Sir.”
Unsure of the next sensations that was being administered to my skin, i feel a sharp claw-like scratching on my back, which sends tickling chills through my body and His nipples being to harden, my body slightly shivers.  This is obviously noticed immediately, for a soft warming blanket is smoothed out over me and i sit as He prepares the next part of the scene.
Not much time goes by before the blanket it removed and a new sensation begins to send electricity up and down my body…not enough to shock me out of my meditative state of mind, but enough to feel the zaps of electricity all over.  Suddenly, a kiss from His lips teases my lips and His pussy begins to trickle a pretty little pearl of sweet nectar towards my thighs, when I hear Him say, “kitten, I can smell your arousal.”
A few swats with a paddle and crop on His ass brings me out of my meditative state, only to hear the sound of vibrations coming closer, until finally i feel the head of the magic wand rub on His wet pussy, making the hips move and want more, but it is taken away soon after He notices my orgasm building close.
A drumming of wood, perhaps bamboo sticks on my back and ass begins, which feels so good and reminds me that my Master is a talented drummer in His spare time, one of the many things i am proud of Him for and my smile widens from ear to ear.
After i turn over, His nipples are spanked with what feels like a small flogger of sorts until the prickling sensation of the Wartenberg wheel starts to run all over my body, bringing me into a new phase of pain and pleasure, for He knows the perfect pressure that shows His confidence with this and all the toys He uses on me in conjunction with each other, in just the right order to bring out the best in His kitten.
Wooden clothes pegs are clamped to His nipples, which sends a pulse right to His pussy.  Then, again i feel His lips braise mine and another trickle of pearly goodness drips from His pussy.  Then more clothes pegs are attached all around His breasts and a brief pause to monitor me, He asks how i am doing, to which i reply, “Green Sir.”  He praises my willingness to please Him and lets me know i have pleased Him greatly, which makes the feel swell in my heart.  The chills are brought back to my whole body when a furry soft feeling, like rabbit fur is smoothed over His body, making me shiver again from head to toe.
After a brief pause, i suddenly feel a strong burning sensation land on my breasts, then another, then another.  Obviously, i can tell this is wax being dripped on me, which brings out a pain that makes me squirm and moan sensually.  At this time, the magic wand returns to His wet pussy and He knows it won’t be long before His kitten begs for release…
“Master!  … Master?! … Master, Please?! … “Please what, kitten?” … Master, Please may i cum for You? … “Cum for me or cum for You, kitten?”  For You Sir, my orgasms belong to You Master! … Please?!?!?!  … “OK kitten, cum for me, cum for me NOW!!!”  Ahhhhhhhhhh!  The waves rush over me, the pussy pulsates, i giggle without trying, my body quivers and convulses and i immediately say, “Thank You Master!!!”
Master recently asked me if i missed being flogged, whipped and the receipt of various other forms of pain and why i missed it.  The only real answer i can give is, "YES!  Because it feels good!!!"  i enjoy all the different aspects of O/our relationship, both vanilla nd non-vanilla - hell yes i do!!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Love Letters

Our love story began a little over 13 months ago, and from the very beginning, i’ve been shown that a Man can express himself eloquently from the heart.  As the months have passed, Master has written the most beautiful love letters to me.  Letters that have expressed His love for me, His need to Dominate me, to take care of me and how i complete Him.  This is the type of absolutely beautiful communication W/we share.  The words contained within these letters have me crying happy tears, for they convey His deepest emotions for me.  Not a day goes by that i wonder how He feels – He always makes sure i know.  These letters are so filled with romanticism and beauty as He expresses His desire for me physically, emotionally and spiritually, that i find the breath being taken from me and sit in amazement at such a giving soul.  He does not have to bare His soul, yet He does and i cherish this about Him from the bottom of my heart.
Because of the trust, the pedals of O/our individual flowers have opened and bloomed in full color and fragrance.  i cherish this precious treasure i have been entrusted with and treasure it above all else.  
As W/we continue to grow and learn about each O/other, it becomes even clearer that W/we are meant to be and have been in past lifetimes, as W/we will be lifetime after lifetime, for all eternity.  This is O/our love…this is what is expressed in the love letters that W/we share with each O/other.  i’ve said it time and time again, that if this were my last day on Earth, my life has been so complete and rewarding because of Him. 
My darling Master, thank You for today, yesterday and all past days You’ve shown me Your heart.  i belong to You: mind, body, heart and soul!
*smiles with bright eyes*

Monday, March 5, 2012


...when i was a kid, i wanted to grow up, so i could do the things i wanted to, when i wanted to.  It bothered me that i had a parent that controlled my actions.  Funny how time has changed the feeling i have in being controlled, eh?  i still do not like it when my Mother does it, especially since i am in my 40's, but she will never stop being my Mother and trying to have a say in my life - i make a conscious effort to not be bothered by it now *wink* i grew up, i wanted certain moments to last forever.  Moments that had me feeling invincible, powerful, in rhythm with the universe, at the right place at the right time, saying the right things when people needed to hear it, hear the right things to confirm i was on the right path towards reaching and even surpassing my goals and dreams. 

...As an adult, there were moments where i wanted time to slow down, so i could enjoy all the things life blessed me with and not just let it all pass me by like watching a movie of my life, but i allowed myself to back into a corner and play it safe for a while, not taking chances, not stepping out of my comfort zone, not having the courage it takes to make a difference in my life and the lives of those around me.

...Then there came a time when i wanted every second to last a lifetime, for it was when i rediscovered who i am and what my purpose(s) was in life.  i broke out of the safe box i was frozen in and really allowed the butterfly in me to fly, to spread my pedals and blossom, each day a new day to explore new possibilities of happiness and fulfillment.

...i am now experiencing a moment in my life when i want to saver each memory i create...with my family, at my job, in my Buddhist practice, self-reflection and with Master.  The hard part has been to remain patient and not rush or push ahead of myself and natural progression of things.  Knowing SirW and i are on a path towards being together permanently has me beyond excited, but i also have days where i ache for Him so badly that it has allowed some sadness to creep in and take hold of me. 

Throughout my life, i was always told that i should suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy and regard both suffering and joy as a part of life.  Saying this is sometimes easier than practicing it, but i try to live the vow i made every day, setting a good example of one who really rides every wave and does not merely exist, not letting life dictate my destiny.

So, while i am suffering with the longing right now, i know in my heart how incredible and bright the future is and that before i know it, the moment that presents itself for SirW and i to finally be together will arrive, so i am determined to enjoy every moment of every day - the good and the bad - and participate and engaged myself in everything i do.

just had to vent this out - so glad i have a blog to release my thoughts, because keeping things like this in are not healthy for me and this time in my life is about great health: Spiritual, Physical, Relationships, Career, etc. - total and complete health in all aspects of my life...balance.



Thursday, March 1, 2012

Master knows...

Recently, Master expressed his feeling that he has been a little relaxed with my submissive training, what with my moving to a new apartment with my Mother, my having a head cold and other vanilla things that get in the way of TTWD.
While i appreciate the fact that He is always thinking of His submissive kitten’s world, when to increase and/or decrease my submissive training.  After all, O/our dynamic is a mix of both worlds, but i am always in submission to Him, so when the training decreases, i feel it.  Plans to spend the rest of O/our lives together allow me to enjoy every moment with Master, so i typically don’t relay feelings of my missing certain things. 
But though i may not express it, Master knows…He picks up on my moods like nobody ever has…not my former relationships, nor my family, but He can in an instant.  So He decided to kick-it-up-a-notch with my training and it has been absolutely fabulous, with tinges of frustration (good frustration, but still)…
For example, this week, whenever i saw my car, i was to (as soon as possible, if not right there in the car) pinch my/His nipples 5 times and pinch my/His clit 10 times.  This morning, this increased to 10/10 AND, it would be when i saw my car (10/10), got into my car (another 10/10) and out of my car (an additional 10/10), so basically, 30/30 for each use of my car **giggles**
Well, this morning, kitten woke up feeling so horny, i could’ve fucked the bedroom door handle and have been happy, so i texted Master for permission and was denied a release…i was granted the ability to touch my/His pussy, but not release **sigh** which made me hornier!  i then texted a begging plea for a reconsideration – probably not a good idea – and was shot down.  Then, i texted a *pout* like a bratty kitten and was told i would be receiving 10 paddle swats for it, as well as i was to insert the white BenWa balls until i got to work.  This was followed by His texting hot pics of the ‘O’ video to get me even hotter, which was fitting as i was a brat.
Master is home today, so i get the benefit of frequent texting (which i adore so much).  One said to put white balls back in for an hour at noon, clamp nipples for 20 at noon, another was Him telling me how he loves me.  How did i get so lucky???
How am i feeling?  Frustrated (sexually), but OH SO submissive!  To be denied an orgasm is so horrible and awesome at the same time, it is hard to convey just how it makes me feel, so i thought i would try to express it in a blog **smiles**