Friday, July 19, 2013


In my early 40’s, I began to look at life differently.  I started to look for quality versus quantity.  I took a good look at the balance of my life and found it to be off-balance.  I merely existed in a doomed marriage, afraid to see what life would be like on the other side, but inevitably I started dreaming of the day I would break free and stop existing and truly live. 

Finally, after years of emotional-self-torture, I asked my then-husband for a divorce.  He moved into the 3rd bedroom of the house I owned, along with his computer, which was in the room my computer was in.  That was the start of my feeling free to find myself again.  I came and went when I wanted, without a word to him or anyone (as did he).  I renewed my Buddhist practice and attended meetings where I participated and was engaged and present, communicated more with my family and friends, went to the movies, ate dinner at my favorite restaurants and started looking for an apartment.

I then began to separate everything into two categories: ‘Needs’ versus ‘Wants’ and tried my best to avoid wants and go straight to what I needed.

It took some time, but eventually I began to know myself.  Who was i?  What do I like?  What do I want out of life?  I had all but given up on having a long-term relationship and I was perfectly fine with that notion. I had my 2 dogs (Westies: Angelo: 13 & Sofia: 12) and I enjoyed being a ‘me’ after being a ‘we’ for so long (15 years).

Not long after all this took place, I met a Man that would change everything…SirW. I have told the story of how We met and how the greatest love story ever written does not compare to Our love, so I need not go into that, but let me say this…When it comes to ‘Need’ versus ‘Want’, He is in both categories.

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully spoken Kitten. I went thru a similar thing only a couple of years ago and finally said enough is enough. The past 2 years have been the best in my life!! AND I have even found that special someone who is ticking off all the boxes one by one!!