Thursday, January 19, 2012

Re: my Deleted post entitled “Sad kitten”

i have never deleted a post, but i did in fact delete it during what SirW would call a ‘Hissy Fit’ last night.  i am sort of glad i did, because i usually like to have a conclusion to my stories…
The post basically went on to say that i fucked up, which was so true…long story short, i made a very important decision without discussing it with my Dom first.  i am not a slave and He does not want to know my every move, but important things should be discussed with a partner, vanilla and non-vanilla, so i was dead wrong here.
To elaborate the exact situation, i started the HCG diet.  This involves me injecting myself with a needle (in my/His stomach) with a fluid that is supposed to trick my body into feeding me 1500 calories from the inside, while i eat 500 calories on the outside.  Anyway, i was so excited when i went to the Dr. and learned about this and out of my previous habit of doing what i felt like for so many years prior to meeting SirW and being owned, i started the diet right away, not thinking that SirW and i should have discussed this before i made the decision to begin.  When i did tell Him, a few days later, i could tell He was not pleased.  How could I do something to my/His body…i am owned right?  How disrespectful and un-submissive of me!  He remained calm, but ran through a range of emotions about me injecting a foreign substance in my/His body and the possible outcomes.  He digested His thoughts and then brought them to me.  It was not pretty, but necessary to get His point across.  It made me so sad that i disappointed Him and i spent that night and the next day (yesterday) so lost in thoughts of sadness.
The outcome: i was sent to my knees, eyes to the ground while He proceeded to correct the situation verbally.  i promised to discuss all important things with Him, as my Dom, as my Partner.
i am so fortunate to have Him in my life, caring about me in every way…i am not used to it, but as He put it, “Get Used To It!!!”  So, a very important lesson learned and a plateau for O/our relationship has passed, leaving U/us closer than before the situation, which i did not even think possible J
It’s all part of my submissive journey with SirW, right?  i am a happy kitten having learned and feel like i have grown from this experience, which is always a good thing.  i am submissive, not super-human, and capable of making mistakes, but will always take responsibility and full accountability for my shortcomings and learn frm them.  This kind of self-improvement / change is awesome!


  1. How wonderful that you are a happy kitten after having grown from the experience. I think it was a teaching moment for him as you continue on your journey in the submissive lifestyle.

    By the way, does the diet work?


  2. Thanks FD! It has been working for me...10 lbs gone in 2 weeks so far!



  3. I've never heard of this diet. And even though I'm a Nurse, I could never stick myself with a needle. haha. I lost 13lbs in 3 weeks working out 15 minutes 3x per week and adding a salad a day to my diet. Of course I got lazy and haven't done a thing the past 8 days. So, I am likely to gain it all back. GOOd luck to you. I Love your blog. You write so passionately. It's no wonder he loves you and cherishes you as he does.