It's been about 10 days since my last blog, but that is just kitten livin' life. i'd like to share with you a little personal information about myself, so you, the reader, understands where my heart is with my words, thoughts and actions as a submissive, a woman and a human being.
kitten was about 3 months old when my mom was introduced to Buddhism, so i was raised a little differently than most children. my first words were, "Nam MyoHo RenGe Kyo" and have lived with the mindset of 'Cause and Effect' in my words, thoughts and actions, but i am definitely human, so i experience negativity just like anyone else. It's how one reacts to it that makes the difference.
my life has been extraordinary in that i have made a conscious effort to make 'good' causes versus 'bad' causes. Doing this is not easy and sometimes not immediately rewarding, but very good for one's karma *wink*
Growing up, while other kids were messing around, playing and just being silly, kitten went on spiritual marches in parades, participated in cultural events, attended youth garden parties, encouraged others to be happy and focused on world peace - not the typical things children did/do, but i have no regrets, as it has made me what i am today.
i strive to be a responsible, intelligent, respectful, kind-hearted individual who thinks about others, my environment and the world W/we A/all live in. Part of my time is spent spreading encouraging messages to my friends and family, and some of it is done via Facebook.
kitten has mentioned that she will not talk much about Sir's children in order to keep this blog about kitten and Sir's D/s journey, but i would like to mention that his daughter mentioned that she finds my messages on Facebook to be spiritually uplifting, that she arranged for my status updates to be sent directly to her cell phone. This means a lot to me, as it means the opportunity to affect a youth, and the youth are the future and they have enough negativity in the world to deal with, so it warmed kitten's heart to learn this.
Back to my childhood for a moment: kitten had been singing from the time i was 12, starting with an opera workshop my mother sent me to one summer in order to keep me busy while she worked. This proved to be the start of my love for music and the extreme joy and satisfaction / fulfilment when using my voice, both by singing, the use of accents, doing voice-overs, etc. kitten continued to sing and develop myself and my voice for a decade or so until my early 20's...
Now...let's talk about my life from my 20's to present, shall W/we?
When i was about 21, i auditioned for and joined a rock and roll band. This is where kitten met the man i married, who is now my ex-husband. kitten married the band leader, who became my best friend and later my husband. kitten will admit to loving him, but not really knowing the feeling of being 'in love' with him, nor the feelings of desire, lust, yearning, longing, sensuality or sexuality. Sure, sex was had, but it was not as enjoyed as it could or should have been, and W/we were both to blame.
In my marriage, so many things happened, both good and bad, but there is no need to get into detail. i will say that some things occurred that made it very difficult for kitten to be herself and be as happy as i could be and started to lose myself along the way.
One day...almost 20 years later, and with the help of my friends and family, kitten realized that it was time to find myself again. I had contemplated divorce for many years and the decision was finally made to stop existing and start living! In that time, i really suffered inside, but as a Buddhist, i was taught to suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy. Eventually though, kitten realized that allowing myself to stay in a relationship that had me so unhappy was bad for my karma. i needed to take ownership of my life and responsibility for my happiness and create the life that would be fulfilling and rewarding, so kitten filed for divorce last year.
During my separation, kitten tried dabbling in cyber sex action, which was not as rewarding as i had hoped at first. Soon though, kitten started to manifest feelings from within myself that i did not recognize. Feelings that were sexual, sensual and exciting. kitten learned she had the ability to 'get wet' without touching herself, based on words and/or voice contact, which was very cool *giggles*
kitten also felt the need to express myself through various actions within her control, such as piercings and the chopping and coloring of her usually conservative hairdo, so one day, i posted a picture of a hot young blond with a funky hairstyle on my Facebook page and asked for opinions. Opinions pointed to i should take a leap and do it...and then i noticed that a friend of a friend clicked the 'like' button and it got me curious. Who was this person and why did they click 'like'? Was it because they thought the girl was pretty...that i should redo my hairstyle...what?
So, kitten decided she would click on this person to see what they were all about...
Upon clicking, kitten saw a picture of an unbelievably handsome man. kitten actually blushed at the sight of this stunning face and admittedly, got wet with thoughts of His mouth on me *blushes and giggles* i had a decision to make...do i leave it at that or do i communicate with this gorgeous man?
kitten decided to send this man a message, stating that the picture He clicked on was not of me, but some hot young blond to illustrate a hairstyle i was thinking about duplicating. He sent a message back rather quickly stating that He was well aware of this, but that He looked at my photos and found me to be very attractive as well. kitten's heart started to beat a little faster now and being intrigued, she looked at who the friend was that they had in common. Hmmm, i thought, my friends from the online game i play (World of Warcraft). People from a different country actually *shrugged*
Long story short: kitten and this man went back and forth for hours that night, and the next night, and the next night, then W/we decided it was time to see if W/we really looked like O/our pictures and get on skype. WOW, kitten did not think it was possible for this Man to become even more beautiful, but He did. kitten can easily say that He was the most handsome man i ever laid eyes on. i mean in my whole life, WOW...so gorgeous that i did not possibly think He would really be interested in me. And being separated and soon to be divorced, i was not looking for anything serious anyway. W/we soon discovered that He was Dominant and i had the desire to explore my submissive nature.
If Y/you all haven't guessed it by now, this Man is my Sir *smiles bright with eyes*
Sir and i pretty much immediately decided to start a D/s journey to see where it might lead U/us and have been skyping for nearly 5 months now. W/we trained nearly every night in various ways (rope bondage, nipple clamping and much much more). Rules were set in place, research was done, books were read and the journey has been delicious from the start!
He visited me for a week a couple of months ago to see if W/we were really compatible in the physical sense, and HOLY CRAP, W/we are.
The funny thing is that, during the 2 months prior to His visiting me, kitten already fell in love with Him...i did not let Him know this, as i did not want to scare Him *laughs* But on the last day of his visit, He declared His love for his kitten and W/we knew that W/we had something so special, a bond between Man and woman, but also between Dominant and submissive.
That's all i am going to tell Y/you about for now, but let me end by saying that the journey Sir and i are on has been the most amazing, rewarding, exciting, passionate, sexy, romantic, beautiful ride of my life, and i could not be happier!!!
Sir, i love You and appreciate the opportunity, each morning i wake to a new sunrise, to submit myself to You again and again and again...
--kitten for Sir