Sir and i have a mix of Vanilla and Non-Vanilla in O/our relationship. He always treats me with respect and visa versa, but there are some instances where He will think of things that give Him concern or have Him worried and does not want me to be concerned or worried with Him, but if there is something that concerns me, it becomes His concern...
Without going into detail, Sir has been dealing with an issue from His past that'll rear its ugly head from time to time - its not that He can't handle it, but it takes Him to a place of frustation, which makes me want to comfort Him and help Him work through it. He has talked about it in order for me to understand, but does not want me to worry or be concerned about it. I can appreciate the fact that He does not wish to worry me, but it is difficult to be happy when He suffers here and there. When W/we talked about this, he stated that His problems are His and my problems are His, but His problems are not mine...this is hard to wrap my head around, but i am trying to get it.
Aside from being a sub, i am also a woman and have a heart when it comes to the sufferings of others in my environment, so all i can do is pray for the situation to change and for His happiness, as i do not want to do anything to take away from his Dominance over me.
Perhaps it is a control that needs to be given to Him, but my heart tells me to support Him through good and bad times, but i want to be a good sub, so i am left a bit bewildered on if there's a middle ground or not.
It's not that i want to have any say in His situation or have a desire to solve His issue - that is not my place, nor is it His job to solve my problems, but to be there to listen and soothe is in my nature...is it not good for a sub to be feeling this way? How can one be happy when their other half is not? He knows how i feel and i do not want Him to put on a smile when He is in the middle of being miserable...i can sense when things are not right with Him...he doesn't really have to say anything, but then again, perhaps He is looking to me to be the happy kitten i am to lift Him out of 'it' with just being me. *shrugs*
--kitten for Sir