Need versus Want!

OK, this post must start out with a big thanks to DV!  One of His posts 
(called: Out Of the Shadows And Into The Light ) really hit home for kitten, as it talks about when a submissive has a moment where a lightbulb goes off in her head and she realizes that she has gone from wanting and learning to be submissive to needing and being submissive, needing her Dom's Dominance and being consumed by the feeling of submission and all it brings to her life, making it everything that makes her...well, her.

Let me explain a little...

Sure, my Sir and i miss each other immensely, after all W/we are in love with E/eachother, but this transcends beyond love and the normal relationship plateaus...

The other day, my Sir began His kitten's training with the telling me what He wants me to go bring (i.e. ropes, vibrators, clamps, etc. - some W/we will use, some He will just have in front of me to give me a certain feeling - there is always a method to His madness).  He told me to clamp my nipples and run  a small piece of rope through the two side rings of His kitten's Training Collar, which i did without hesitation.  Then He had me lay the vibrator between my legs in front of me and said kitten was to pull the rope until my nipples were turned upwards and i felt pain and hold there until either the pain was too great, my arms got too tired, or i wanted to pleasure myself with the vibrator...

kitten felt perplexed and asked Sir, "Why would kitten not just go for the vibrator if that was one of her choices?"  But He said that was a good question and one only i could answer...

As kitten held the ropes and the pain grew and grew, i felt so strange and wondered to myself why i preferred to stick with the pain...i stuck with it and stuck with it, not allowing myself the pleasure that was easily had if i chose to have it.  Why???

Sometimes, a post from a favorite blogger will smack me upside the head and something inside me starts to make sense as it gets expressed in that person's blog and this happened when i read DV's blog...

The reason i stuck with the pain is this:  pleasure comes and goes, whereas the pain lingers around for a while after things are done, reminding me that i am His, that He Dominates me, that i am completely and hopelessly lost in kitten's submission to Sir, that He owns me and that kitten belongs to Him in every way. 

To kittten, this is simply Delicious!

OK, kitten admits it:  she NEEDS her Sir, His Dominance, my submission to Him, His love, His control over me...all of it!  Just realizing this makes me feel calm and the feelings that have been building in me have found a place to rest - they rest in knowing things are as they should be!

kitten is sooo happy!--kitten for Sir