Friday, August 26, 2011

Lessons Learned: HONESTY

Before i explain the detail of this lesson, i must admit to some quirky weirdness within me.  i actually have many quirks, most of which i attribute to being a Virgo, which may be a cop-out, now that i have analyzed it to death *smiles*

The quirk is about colors and matching.  As Y/you may have read, Sir collared His kitten last month with a beautiful Eternity Collar.  His collar is a solid ring of silver that fits perfectly around His neck, with a silver ring hanging from that.  The first week i wore it to work, i wore it without the hanging ring to see if anyone at work would mention anything about it - this may have been my first mistake..with or without this hanging ring, His collar looks so classy and elegant that there could really be no comments about it, other than how beautiful it was, if any. 

The following week, Sir had me add the hanging ring back on and just as anticipated, not a word from anyone at work and i was happier with it on His collar, as it felt it should be.  Then this past week, Sir had me put one of His kitten tags hanging on the hanging silver ring.  This is a cute red heart with "Sir W" on it and i wore it with pride.  The fact that it did not match my outfits was not a big deal, as it was something Sir asked me to do and it pleased me to follow His wishes. 

i neglected to mention last night that my H.R. manager asked me about the kitten-tag, so i explained it to her, and the fact that i had a token made for Sir that was a gorgeous set of dog-tags (military style) with His initial on one side and mine on the other on a handsome chain that He wears around His neck as a symbol of my devotion to Him.  She thought it was sweet and that was the end of the conversation. 

Sir and i skyped as W/we normally do, but towards the end of O/our conversation, He was giving me my tasks, when i asked if He wanted me to continue wearing the kitten tag.  i told Him that it didn't really match my outfits, but that was not why i wanted to know if it could be removed.  i should have told Him what was really on my mind, which was that i liked the look without the red kitten-tag for more formal occasions and with the tag on less formal's just more elegant on its own and sassy with the tag, but that was my opinion and it should not matter, but i said it didn't match, which He stopped me and said, "You wore that all week and didn't match, why is that a factor?"  He said i was hiding behind my Virgoness and He was right.  i should have told Him the truth about my feelings on it, but instead i wrongly fumbled with a dumb ass story - why??? 

With this, Sir was disappointed in me, and so He should have been...i was disappointed in me too.  He said W/we would drop it and that if it happened again, measures would be taken.  This made me feel like i had cast a shadow of doubt over my words with Him and that's what really hurts the most.  He said, if i am not being honest about this, what else could i not be truthful about...He is right, of course and i had labored sleep over it all night.

Honesty is important in any relationship, but in O/ours, it's one of the keys to O/our success.  i am determined to have complete honesty in O/our relationship...i just hope this shadow of doubt in the back of His mind fades away and He sees my honesty in my words, thoughts and actions. 

There is a Buddhist saying that is something i have practiced all throughout my life, which goes like this: "Honim Myo" and it means, "From This Moment On" - When i have a realization of something about myself i do not like (or it is pointed out to me), i make a resolution that from the moment i feel the wrongness of my action, i change and become the person who does not do or say what ever it was that i did not like and live my life "From This Moment On" as the person i can be proud of. 

With all that being said, from my heart, i say, "i will NOT hide behind my Virgoness and will be open and honest with everything from this moment on.



  1. it wasn't an act of malice, don't be so hard on yourself :)


  2. I agree with Sweet Girl, don't be too hard on youraelf. :) Btw, the kitten tag is adorable. (And I'm like you - I like things to "match"...and I'm a Leo LOL)

  3. If you don't mind my asking, where did He find that collar?

  4. He got it at an online company called EternityCollars:

    But, it was made specifically for me with the measurements He had me take and give Him.




    to be exact :)

  6. That is a gorgeous collar. I like the idea that it can be worn in public without too much fuss or outing oneself.