Tuesday, December 11, 2012

LDR's - They can work!

A question was posted on Fetlife that asked for ways to maintain a D/s or M/s LDR - i thought i would repost my response here, in case it helps someone who reads my blogs:

SirW and i started as a LDR...We weren't even in the same country.  We were lucky to skype nearly every night - this is where He trained me as His submissive.  Aside from the training every night, He gave me instructions, tasks, rituals and assignments on a daily basis.  His active Dominance kept Him on my mind and me feeling completely submissive, even thousands of miles apart.  BUT...Trust is crucial.  The basic pillars must be upheld in order for any LDR to work.

So, what are some of the things that i was expected to do?

Morning ritual (this varied from day to day, from sitting on my knees in front of a mirror, looking at myself and appreciating what SirW sees in me.  His vision of me was amazing and i started to see it after a while - it wasn't that i had low self esteem, but what i considered to be flaws, He saw as beautiful imperfections that made me perfect for Him.  Some days, He would have me read (a book of His choice, usually BDSM related).  Some days, He would have me play and release before work.  What ever the morning ritual was, i looked forward to it, as it made me feel closer to Him than We actually were.

Each day, i was given 3 words to be used in 3 different sentences with 3 different people (without them knowing).  This was a challenge that i enjoyed.  At the end of each day, i would email Him my Word Task Report (WTR).  He enjoyed reading them and made Him feel closer to me and what my day entailed.

As mentioned, We skyped nearly every night.  We would talk about Our day, listen to music, read a book to each other, play online scrabble (We also played World of Warcraft together) and We trained.  Training was sometimes my roping myself with His instructions, nipple torture, playing with myself and practicing orgasm control.  Sometimes, We would face the camera toward the kitchen, prepare a meal at the same time and then get dressed, light candles and have a romantic dinner together.  We even clinked the computer screen to toast with Our wine glasses (lol).
During the day (at work), i wold get surprise text messages that would tell me to clamp or play for 10 minutes...i loved these surprises: they made my day.

We did all this for a whole 2 months before We ever met in person...by Our first meeting, We were so comfortable with each other that Our actual union was out of this world.

After 6 months, He collared me as His submissive.  A year later, after skyping nightly, meeting every few months or so, i moved to Canada and on Our 1 year collaring ceremony, We got married and now live harmoniously as Dom/sub, as well as Husband and wife and are very happy :)


  1. A very interesting and heartening story. How did you actually meet him online? Chatroom? Fetlife? Something else?

  2. How We met is interesting actually...

    First i must mention that i have been into gaming for many years. i played a game called Everquest, then City of Heroes and eventually settled in World of Warcraft. These games were interesting to me because they were not simply me against the computer, but the other characters were actual people online playing in their homes, so there was a social aspect to it as well. Because of that aspect, friendships were made and some landed as friends in my Facebook, including the guild leaders and a handful of others.

    A day came when i wanted to do something different with my appearance. i wanted to get a few piercings and change my hairstyle, so i posted a picture of a hot young blond punky hairstyle on Facebook and asked for opinions of whether i should do it or not. The people that responded encouraged me to make the change...then there was one person who clicked the "like" button. They could only do this if we were friends OR we had friends in common, so i looked into this person's profile. Hmmm...a very handsome gentleman. Then i looked to see which friends we had in common and saw that it was a lovely couple i played World of Warcraft with that lived in Canada.

    i was feeling a little feisty and decided to send this guy a private message that basically stated that he clicked "like" on a picture of a hot young blond, that i was using that pic to illustrate a hairstyle i was considering, that the girl in the pic was not me and that i could be this girls mother. He responded by saing he knew that was not me and that he looked at my pic and found me to be attractive. Hmmm...well, i was not sure what i was expecting, but not that. In fact, i was not even divorced yet and was pretty sure i did not want to get seriously involved with anyone. Still, i was intrigued...

    We sent messages back and forth for many hours. The conversation was very stimulating...we talked about life, relationships, the world, religion, children and much more. I went to bed thinking about him and our conversation. The next day, i sent a message to the person we knew in common on Facebook and said, "Hey, i wanted you to know that i had a conversation with---and before i could finish my sentence, she said, "Yeah Yeah, he already contacted me and asked about you." i learned that he too played World of Warcraft, along with his son, but their connection was that he was the boss of the man in that couple.

    Long story short: we messaged back and forth for 2 days, then went to skype (we both wanted to see if we really looked like our Facebook pic). By the end of the 1st week, we talked about D/s and started training over skype. We skyped every night for hours, talking, training, laughing and really having a great time.

    Two months past and he came for a visit. This was to be our first meeting after basically skype-dating every night and weekends, which totalled about 60 dates, so we were quite comfortable with each other by then, but still anxious to meet because we had not determined whether we were physically compatible or not. We definately were ~smiles~

    Neither of Us were looking for what We found in each other, but from the very beginning, it felt right as rain and with each passing day, Our love grows stronger as We face the road ahead together.