Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Neurotic kitten?

Perhaps living life to the fullest, making it count as if there was no promise of tomorrow comes as a double-edge sword...

There are moments...not many of them (thankfully), where i...hmmm: i probably need to start further back...hang on...OK, here it is:

Today, for example, i had a pretty awesome day at work, got home with more energy than i expected and sat and enjoyed an afternoon movie - so relaxing!

Then, i get a box taped and start packing (We're moving in 9 days!)...wait...I need to go further back, damn it (Sorry)  OK, here it is:

So my move to Canada was phase 1 of our journey together.  Phase 2 would happen after both kids graduate high school, work and live successfully outside our home.  This has happened (yey!). 

We are now about to downsize (Phase 2) into a gorgeous apartment on the top floor with a river view to die for, sunken living room, underground parking (bye bye shoveling and scraping), indoor and outdoor pools, jacuzzi, a complete gym, sauna - it's a slice of heaven and We will be there in 9 days!  Thus the packing :)

Now then, so i turned the music on and danced and packed and danced and packed. Then i incorporated the making of dinner into the mix - i was feeling fantastic...until...i look at the clock and it's a tad later then usual with no call/text to say He was on His way.

i call and leave a message at work.  i call and leave a message on His cell.  Why am i hyperventilating?

It's that moment i hate...the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when for a split second, i think something has happened to Him and it begins to pick at me internally.

That's why, each time these feelings creep in, when eventually He walks through the door, i run to Him and hug Him tight, so grateful to have even just one more day with Him.  That's why, when ever We part to go to work, etc., i repeat, "i love You!" (a little too often perhaps).

Anywhooo, He just texted to say He was in a meeting, so i just let out a sigh of relief :)

Just being real with some pretty negative feelings - feels good to get it off my chest!

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