Tuesday, April 30, 2013

New Protocol

i recognize that i am lucky to have a Master who uses active Domination.  By active Domination, i mean that the exchange between Us is constantly moving/breathing.  i have come to realize that I will always be in training, learning and incorporating new things into Our relationship and love it.  The power exchange within Our relationship is so beautiful - it is exactly what works for Us.  i must say that I am totally amazed at how much energy and planning goes into making Our dynamic what it is.  Every relationship takes effort and i do my best to do my part as His submissive - seeing all that He does to keep things fresh and fun drives me to do everything possible to make His life as beautiful as He makes mine.

All the protocols that make up Our dynamics are so wonderful to me, no matter how long I have been doing them because they are important to Him.  i love the fact that We are always evolving though... 

Just the other day, He added a new protocol.  It is not a difficult one, but it makes me so happy to see the look in His eyes when i do it.  The new protocol is, when i bring Him something, it is offered with both hands.  Simple, but when He takes the item, He gives me a look of gratitude and pride...this look melts me!

~smiles sweetly~

Nothing major to report here, just that i am filled with so much appreciation for all He does (words, thoughts and actions) in order to take such great care of His kitten.

Friday, April 26, 2013

i woke up today...

i woke up today and the yearning began.  i could not wait to be in Your arms again...to feel Your mouth on mine, Our tongues dancing with each other.  i spent the day longing for You as though We had just met and You were thousands of miles away, yet You were merely at work and i was just being silly.  But the desire would not cease spinning within me, images of You caressing me, stroking my hair, running Your hand along my curves, intoxication filling Us.

You called to say You were on Your way home and i felt a sense of relief pour over me, as though i wasn't sure life would return You to me.  i am not sure why these feelings have washed through me, but they have awakened in me, a woman who will cherish You for the rest of my days, each day, as though it were my last.  i love You.

Monday, April 22, 2013

The First Time...

Not sure why, but i had a daydream today of the time SirW told me He loved me...well, sort of told me anyway...

After skyping for 2 months, He visited His kitten.  In a previous post, i described Our first kiss, so i won't go into that again, but it was on Our last day...Sunday, April 3rd, 2011...

One of the hardest things We had to endure about being in a LDR was the day when He or i would leave to go back home.  The feeling of being left comes a couple of days prior to the actual day, but in order to make the most of every moment of being together, those feelings are best pushed way back in the brain, if possible.

The week We spent together was simply magical and We found ourselves on Our last day together.  i woke up emotional, like my heart was being ripped out of my body and squished.  i did not want to have His last memory of me a crying face, so i held back the tears as best as i could and just tried to be in the moment until He left...

Now, truth be told, i was head-over heals in love with SirW, but i did not want to scare Him by blurting out those 3 little words that say so much...at least not the first one to say it...

There We were, stopped in front of the airport, removing His luggage from my trunk, knowing this was Our last moment together, lump in throat, holding back the tears, smiling as best i could.  i remember the day was beautiful and there were a ton of noises all around Us when We had Our last embrace goodbye...

After the hug, We kissed and then He started His walk towards the airport doors, when He turned around (by this time, tears were streaming down my face...i could not help it, though i tried - smile still on my mouth), He mouthed the words, "I love you" and then off He disappeared into the airport.

i, stunned, got into the car and started my drive home, weeping from the loss of my Sweetheart who took my heart with Him and drove home.  During the drive and the rest of the day, i wondered if i actually saw what i thought i saw...Him mouth the words, "I love you"

Later that night, He and i skyped, as usual, and the first question out of His mouth was, "Did you get what I mouthed to you as I walked into the airport?"  i said, "i think so, but just to be safe, could You repeat it for me now please?"  He giggled and said, "kitten, I am intoxicated by you - you have captured me completely...I love you"  i began to cry uncontrollably and when i apologized for being emotional, He told me that He loves every part of me, and that included all my emotions.  i told Him i had been in love with Him from the first night We chatted, but did not believe in love at first sight, so i did not think my feelings were real, but they were...

i have loved SirW, not just from the first day We chatted, but it feels like Our love has been a reunited love from a past life, or perhaps the deepest love of my soul in every lifetime i have had. 

Each sunrise i wake with Him, is another day of the deepest passion i have ever felt.

...living my dreams, happily :)

Monday, April 15, 2013

GAGA!

From the very 1st moment We chatted, i felt so stimulated in many ways.  The conversation flowed like water with subjects from world events to nature and life in general.  When i hung up the phone after Our first conversation, i had a huge grin on my face and butterflies in my stomach at the thought of possibly talking to Him again.  And i did, the very next day, and the day after that and the day after that!  
 

Then We took to Skype and a whole new world opened up for Us...Our communication became much more than words...We could see and feel emotions, facial expressions, the twinkle in His eyes when he laughed and overall beauty in His features.  He was the most handsome Man i had ever laid eyes on.  His blue eyes: pierced right through to my core.  His jaw: so strong and square.  His muscles popped out from His shirts.  His tattoos danced with His movement.  Everything about this Man made my heart pound fast and my knees go weak and, if i am bring brutally honest, any communication (email, text, phone-call or Skype) made me wet with an uncontrollable desire. 


This went on for a couple of months until He came down to see me in person for the 1st time and, while i did not think it was even possible for my lust to grow, it did: tenfold.  These were new feelings...the feeling i got sometimes when i was star-struck at a gorgeous actor from the big screen.  This Man was just as beautiful on the inside as He was on the outside, which made Him all the more attractive and my heart go pitter-pat!  i was absolutely GAGA over Him.  We were definitely falling in love by this time.   The skyping continued and my feelings grew deeper and soon, being apart was starting to pull on my heart-strings.


The months have now turned into years.  Each day i wake with Him by my side, the feelings take hold of me again.  My alarm goes off and, while i am tired, i make my way out of bed.  When i glance over to Him, my heart flutters like the wings of a butterfly.  When We drive anywhere, i find myself looking over at His face, His eyes and practically drool at His sexiness.  This Man belongs to me?  OK OK...i belong to Him, but He loves me...His heart is mine and i thank the stars above every day for paving the path for Us to be together.  It feels as though We were rejoined...reunited from a past life, where We loved with all Our hearts then too...so kindred...destiny...

Sometimes i wonder if He knows that my GAGA increases for Him every day...that i cannot wait to see Him when He's gone to work...that i love Him with every fiber of my being...i wonder if He knows...

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

punishment-vs-funishment

i can be bratty at times...but generally speaking, i am not a brat just to be a brat.  i do not agree with doing something i am not suppose to have done (or forgetting to do something i am suppose to do) on purpose to get a punishment.  Truth be told, the disappointment i cause and feel myself when this happens crushes my heart, but this is the world of BDSM, so my Master makes the choice on how to correct me, let me off with a warning or even sometimes, knowing the disappointment may have done the correction job, turn it into a funishment :)  When i am faced with this, i am typically pretty nervous because i never know which way He will go.  This feeling keeps me on my toes and has me trying very hard not to find myself in this position often...

This morning, which was not different than any other morning, i was in the middle of making lunch for SirW and Our son, when it dawned on me that i had not laid out what i am suppose to lay out every morning for SirW: The can of shaving cream in the back center, with the electric shaver in front on the left, next to that the manual razor and to the right of that, His toothbrush.  This is a morning ritual i am suppose to do every morning (except on weekends).  The blood rushes from my face and i run upstairs in a panic to the washroom.  i quickly set it up and wander into the bedroom, where SirW is getting dressed for work.  i look at Him and He says, "Too late kitten - i am done in the washroom." 

My heart sank, but i am not allowed to pout, so i grunt a little in self-disgust and promptly ask for punishment for forgetting.  He said, "Yes kitten, you will be."  He does not dwell on things like this...He still treats me respectfully and is sweet to me until He leaves for work.  i go about my day as usual...i had some errands to run (dogs needed vaccine updates at the vet, grocery shopping, etc.) and eventually, i picked up SirW and We get home.  We eat dinner and relax in front of the b00b-tube and wait for one of my favorite shows to come on, when He says, "kitten, i am going to take a shower and you are going to service me."

Oh how i tried to not smile...i really tried, but i was excited at the thought of my Master all wet.  i noticed the look in His eyes that told me i better wipe the grin off my face or the punishment/correction will take a different turn, so i wipe it off immediately.

Without going into too much detail, i not only got to soap up my Master from head to toe, but i got to suck His cock and was allowed to feed from Him...i drank Him into me and loved every minute of it!

Please know that i am fully aware that this could have gone a completely different direction with me a very sad kitten, but this time, it turned out to be a sexy memory i will keep forever.

Thank You Sir!